The big day

Saturday is the big day for my brother-in-law and his fiancee. The big wedding. And it's going to be big. She is going to be stunning. She always looks good, but brides have that something special. I'm so happy for them. I don't have a sister, we've both married into the same family, and I hope someday we can be friends.

I'm very nervous about it. I don't do well in crowds. And it's going to be crowded. The bride has a lot of friends, and they have a huge bridal party, including her sister-in-law, who is her matron of honor. My husband is the best man. My daughter is the flower girl. So I'll be alone in a crowd where I don't really know anyone. Because the people I know and am responsible for will be busy.

It's my job to make sure we have the tux. And the flower girl dress. And the aforementioned shoes. To keep everything together and get them ready for the big day. But then I don't know what I'll do with myself. I'm more worried about this wedding than I was my own! I don't want to be the one who messes something up, or has a cranky child, that takes away from the joy of the event. The best present anyone gave me, was not telling me of any problems that happened leading up to the wedding. They just fixed them. Which was particularly nice because I had a person who added herself to the bridal party. She wasn't supposed to be there, so that made things awkward, and took a bunch of re-arranging. And I feel bad for my matron of honor, because with the other girl in a different dress, the wrong person looks like she was in that special spot.

Sadly, while my wedding day was wonderful, pictures of the event make me cry. I look terrible, and all the pictures are very posed, like formal prom posed, which just isn't flattering. I know the bride won't feel that way about her photos, and I am so, so happy. Those pictures will be in houses forever, and she should feel good everytime she sees them.

As nervous as I am, I'm trying to just be happy for them. I'm not a part of the wedding. Technically I'm there as a guest, to observe their joy. Though I'll do anything I can to help it go smoothly, which with all her friends, she doesn't need one more person poking her nose in.